One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
