My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
