Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize