it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
