I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize