scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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