i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
