Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
