it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
