she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
