I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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