he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
