Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
