okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
