Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
