Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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