Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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