Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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