How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
