OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize