So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
