You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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