How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
