it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
