3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
