I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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