tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
