I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
