I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Enjoy the penises
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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