i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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