Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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