dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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