why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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