From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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