in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
