I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
