The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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