just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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