Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
this just has baby written all over it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
