You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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