wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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