I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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