She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
