Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
