You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
