Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
