I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
