I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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