Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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