im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
