I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
