Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
