And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
