he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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