shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
