Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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