When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
