In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
