Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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