best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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