Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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