That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
