Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize