This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
