Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
