We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
