cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
