I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
