just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
