I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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