whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
