i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
