We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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