I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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