For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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