bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
