one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
