K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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