Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
