Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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