i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize