I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
