Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize