You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i out mim tonsoeep
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